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Sobriety and ARt

 
 

It all started when…

I still remember the first days of this journey like they were yesterday. I’m not just talking about my 1st day a year and a half ago. My first day over two years ago. Living in NY and going to my very first meeting before my out-patient started. Counting 1 or 3 or 10 days before falling back down and picking up again. The desperate call home from the offices of Hazelden in Chelsea to get me on the next available flight to MN, because I was going to die if I didn’t. I remember the self inflicted disappointment, and feeling utterly broken and hopeless. I remember my parents calling me at Hazelden in MN to tell me that they were driving to NY, to pack up all of my belongings, with the help of 4 ridiculously amazing friends, to bring it all back to MN. I thought my life as I knew it was over, and I was right, it was. But I didn’t know what that meant, yet. My life as I knew it, as a raging alcoholic had come to an end. My days of early morning liquor store runs, mid-day beers at the bar, afternoon happy hours, guzzling leftover drinks at work, and late night bar-closes were over. My days of night sweats, and shaky hands, and detox tremors, and malnutrition, and vomiting in back-alleyways, and passing out on subway rides for hours, and stashing booze in hidden places all around my apartment, making phone calls I didn’t remember, or having fights I wouldn’t dream of having sober...those days were all over. But my life as an artist, a musician, an actor, a friend, a son, a nephew, a grandson, a boyfriend, a trustworthy employee, a person that could walk with his head held high no matter the time of day or night, a song-writer, a teacher...those days had JUST begun! And they continue to wow and amaze me as time goes on! 2 years ago I didn’t understand why anyone would choose to live if there were other options. 18 months ago, I decided to actually give this living thing a try. Good grief I’m grateful that i did! It works if you work it, so work it, you’re worth it, and LIVE it!!.